"Firestorm"

That's how I first heard it referred to as: Firestorm.

I’m putting links at the top so they aren’t missed. Many ways you can help. Donations, either monetary or items they need, or volunteering will help. Most recent info is found on their Facebook page.

Sevier County Humane Society Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/SevierHumaneSociety/

Sevier County Humane Society: http://www.sevierhumane.org/home/donate

Sevier County Humane Society You Caring page: https://www.youcaring.com/seviercountyhumanesociety-702875

Greater Good support page for donations to assist Sevier County Humane Society: https://theanimalrescuesite.greatergood.com/store/ars/item/80477/?utm_source=ars-ggofan&utm_medium=ars-social&utm-term=12012016&utm_campaign=tennessee-fires-a&origin=ars_face_ggo_gtgm_tennessee-fires-a_80477_12012016

Appalachian Bear Rescue Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/AppalachianBearRescue/

On Monday and Tuesday, wildfires exploded throughout Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge and caused massive evacuation and devastating loss. My first instinct was to take a few days off work and head up there to help with rescue and recovery. I contacted a local shelter and asked what I could do. They told me that at that time, Tuesday, that everyone was okay and they are just preparing for the worst. He said he would post an update to their Facebook page for the needs of others and to check back with them later, as getting back in and assessing the damage was yet to come. I sat there not knowing what to do first. My head was spinning. My heart sank. All the memories of being there year after year with family and friends during the Christmas holidays. We were there just there last Christmas. I started following the Sevier County Humane Society page (link above) to see what I could do. I felt like I needed to DO something. I started thinking about all those animals, pets and wildlife, trying to escape something so horrendous. This was no normal fire. It blew through with winds of up to 67mph. People barely escaped. 

Here’s where it got harder for me to process. People told stories of how they were not allowed to go back and get their pets. These were people who were not at home when the fire came through. Then, there were those who ignorantly left their pets behind. One story recounted how the police were banging on their door for immediate evacuation and they had to leave right then and thought they’d be back in a few hours. They left their pets to die, to burn at that. They said these pets were like children to them. There’s no way! No way they were like your children or you would not have left them. Would you have left your children behind? I hope those babies somehow escaped and find a better home. I understand not being home when this happened and not being allowed to go back to your home, but let me tell you now, you would have to arrest me, restrain me or something because I would die trying to get to my babies. And if police were banging on my door to evacuate, then my babies will be in my arms before I go out that door. NO WAY would I EVER leave them behind!

This bothered me the most. The ones that were left. Also, the ones that made it out but needed help and couldn’t get it because no one was allowed back in until today. I couldn’t get the videos and images of that fire and all those lost animals out of my head. It made me angry and sad and sick. I couldn’t eat and couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t think about anything else and it has dictated my thoughts and heart for the past week. I grieved over it all. What can I do? I need to do something. I started wishing I had become a vet or vet tech or something useful that they needed. While I followed their page to keep up with what the Sevier County Humane Society needed, I could see that they were getting a great response from volunteers and getting funds that they so desperately needed but I felt I still needed to do something. We had just been through Black Friday and I had finished my Christmas shopping and finally bought a camera and lens that I had been wanting for a while. So then I started having buyer’s remorse because I wanted to send all that money I had spent straight to the rescue effort. I couldn’t even enjoy my new camera or enjoy walking Izzie in her new comfy harness because I was so devastated over everything. I still considered going up there as well but, as I kept up with the updates, I realized that while they have an influx of volunteers now, they will need them throughout because they were only allowed to go back into some parts of Gatlinburg today. Today. Three days after the fire ended. No telling what they will find after three days. So today I have spent the day trying to wrap my head around everything and get myself back to normal. I walked my dogs and tried to pay attention to their needs because they need me and my focus has been elsewhere. I finally ate and tried to get rehydrated. I realized that going up there right now was not economically smart because of the money I’d spend in gas, food and lodging. All that money can be sent to them and they are in greatest need for funds at this point due to medical treatment needed for the animals. They are expected to have a ton of volunteers for the weekend as well so I am waiting for when they call for the need of volunteers and then I’ll go. Right now, I have to send them money because that’s all I can do. I can also donate other things if they need it. One thing that has been overwhelming is the outpouring of donations and help received. People all over the world have traveled to Gatlinburg and so many are pulling together to help them out.

I’m not sure why this affected me so badly but it did. Maybe it’s because I know the area, maybe it’s the memories or maybe it’s just my heart hurting for all those fur babies, not knowing what’s happening, trying to escape, not being able to…it kills me. Fire is scary and so devastating. My greatest hope is that they got out and ran somewhere safe. I have seen some reunions but unfortunately, I think there will more loss than reunions. I hope not; I’d love to see them all reunited with their families. Maybe, just maybe those who have lost will help the ones who are left displaced and needing a home. Maybe after the loss there will be adoption. That is my hope for the animals.

There are others in need as well. I have pulled this information from Facebook for Big Fluffy Dog Rescue in Nashville, TN:

“Fans, as many of you know, Gatlinburg TN and parts of Pigeon Forge burned in a firestorm on Monday night. The fires are still burning, although more rain is forecast which will hopefully put an end to the fires.

The destruction of this area is hard to fathom, and for those of us who know and love the area, we know just how profound the loss is. So far, four people lost their lives along with countless animals. There will be more to come.

Tuesday morning, we reached out to local shelters to offer our help and to wildlife agencies in the area. I expect that the local shelters will begin a call for help shortly, and we are beginning to put together space for dogs in need.

Let us discuss their needs:

1. Large plastic crates. The eagles need them. Eagles and other raptors were housed at the American Eagle Foundation that was evacuated. For those of you who have never seen an eagle, these are large birds and they have borrowed some crates, but could use more. Their wish list is here: https://www.eagles.org/wish- list/

2. The local animal shelter says it does not need supplies, but has set up a fire relief fund for longer terms needs. Donate here: https://www.youcaring.com/ seviercountyhumanesociety- 702875

3. Black bears need your support, too. I spoke to the Appalachian Bear Rescue to see what they needed yesterday and they were spared damage to their facility, BUT, I suspect strongly based on some news reports that they will be getting orphaned or injured bears. You can donate to them here: https://salsa4.salsalabs.com/ o/51586/donate_page/donate….

4. The national park is actually closed indefinitely. I cannot recall any such closure in the past, but the park has suffered devastating losses as well. The support organization Friends of the Smokies can always use donations: http://friendsofthesmokies. org/.

As we get more requests, I will post them. Thank you for being not only fans of dogs, but fans of wildlife. A lot of aid is pouring in for the people, and I'd like to share some of the love for the animals. Please share this post far and wide. Thanks as always.”

This is the person I had reached out to in the beginning and then I begin to follow the Sevier County Human Society page: https://www.facebook.com/SevierHumaneSociety/ and the Appalachian Bear Rescue page: https://www.facebook.com/AppalachianBearRescue/

Writing this has helped me process some but there’s so much more we can do. Please help in any way you can. Even if it’s only $5, it helps. I know it’s a tough time of year and money is tight due to the holidays, but just remember that people have lost everything and pets are without families and homes and possibly injured.

We had just cancelled our trip up there to the cabin this year literally two days before this happened. We cancelled because we are hoping to start building soon and need to save the money. Now, I am devastated that we are not going because I want to help but it would have cost so much to stay in the cabin that the funds would better used to support the rescue efforts. Also, my mom and stepdad are going up there on the usual annual trip and they will help with whatever they can when they get there.

Don’t forget the Red Cross and their efforts as well as the DollyWood foundation (dollywoodfoundation.org). I also saw on the news tonight that a community in my area set up drop-offs at several locations to collect donations that they packed into an eighteen wheeler and trailer and will take to Gatlinburg tomorrow.

I know there’s so much happening right now but I wonder how much people will still be doing in 3 weeks. Will the funds stop rolling in? Will people forget about this while they are immersed in their own holiday traditions? Will people stop volunteering? I hope not. We are all human and we need to help each other. These animals and their people need us.

The hunt for a better October...

I love the month of October. I look forward to it each year. Maybe it's college football, my birthday, fall weather, changing colors, hiking, seasonal ciders, Halloween candy, pumpkin carving. All sounds good, right? My month was riddled with so many distractions that I have not enjoyed but a few days that were memorable to me and the rest have been...well, disappointing to say the least. 

I got to visit my grandparents and traveled with family so that was the best part even though it was only for overnight. I would have loved to have spent more time with them. I got to do a little hiking and take some pictures. That was the extent of the good parts. I didn’t even get to go to the orchard this year and I had all kinds of meetings and deadlines with work.

Now on to the house hunting saga...the headache that ruined my October!

This whole house hunting ordeal has taken on a whole new level of my life that I thought I would never be so consumed in. We’ve been searching for years, dealt with bad realtors, bad houses, rude people and then finally, we got to a point where we felt comfortable. We knew what we wanted, got a good agent and knew what we wanted to spend where. As another offer on another house was submitted and negotiations began again, we decided this just wasn't the right house, didn’t feel great about the neighborhood. It just didn’t feel right, you know?

So, when property became available in a long sought after neighborhood that I've been watching for 3 ½ years, I was ecstatic! I thought, "This is perfect! I get property to build exactly what I want rather than trying to make a house fit what I want or settling on something. Perfect location, perfect, perfect, perfect!" There's not a lot of good private property left in this area close to campus that is affordable. It was a lot of property for a good price. Whether it was developed or not, it was a good investment. This was the perfect opportunity for us in every way. I felt like we had finally gotten there. As I inherited the bad luck curse, this was not to be...once again. I couldn't get a contract on it quick enough (there are other parties/aspects involved here that I won’t go into) and now it is gone...forever. Maybe I should have made the decision to move forward on my own, but I was trying to be in equal agreement and involvement here, and it made me lose something I really, really wanted. Now, I’m angry and I am having the hardest time processing this sequence of events while trying not to place any blame. I don't believe that things "happen for a reason." I believe that you have to be proactive in what you do to get the results that you want or else it just won't happen. In processing this colossal disappointment, this overbearing stress that I'm feeling from all the ups and downs over the past few months and then losing the perfect fit for me, I have decided I am done. I am done searching and trying and negotiating and being stressed and disappointed. I woke up literally throwing up this morning because I got so upset yesterday and couldn't think of anything else last night. Loss of sleep, losing weight, anxiety...I can't live like that anymore. I have nothing left to give or gain in this search (aka fight) and it has taken up too much of my time and energy. There are so many little things that I have basically forgotten about because I’ve been so immersed in this process. My dogs don’t let me forget about them, but there are other simple little things like listening to Pandora or taking short walks on campus or getting TCBY or not constantly checking my email for one day (much less all day every day for weeks!) that I have just left behind. And because of that, I’m done with the house/property hunting game. I’m so over it. I’ve unsubscribed to all the listing services, removed favorites, deleted all emails, cleared browsing histories, and removed all the related apps on my phone. Unless you know exactly what you want and can afford it, it is not fun. Don’t let anyone tell you buying a house is exciting. Realistically, for those of us who have budgets, it will never be that exciting.

The only possible upside to this? While buying property is not so expensive, building a house definitely is, so I guess in essence I’m saving money since it didn’t work out. But there's an upside to building as well; you get exactly what you want in the house. No trying to make rooms that are too small work for you. No trying to settle in a neighborhood that you don't like just because you like the house. There are so many upsides to building your own home. I was so excited at the prospect! I had been searching and searching for a house, something already there, something I could live with, something I could make fit, when all along I could/should have been concentrating on building my dream home. Well, maybe not my dream home...that would cost more than I'll ever have, but you get the idea. I didn't have many requirements anyway. A master suite, at least two bathrooms and a walk-in closet. Do-able, right?

I guess if you can take one thing away from this, it should be that if something you want is in reach, is available, is there for the taking, move on it. Don't hesitate, don't contemplate. If you've done your research and know your capabilities and limits and it’s obtainable, just do it. BE PROACTIVE! Whether it's buying a new home, getting a new job, doesn't matter. Good things get gone quickly. And then you're left to process the loss and/or disappointment while second guessing everything and sometimes, starting all over again.

Another thing to take away: it is a lot of work. Let me say that again…the home buying process IS A LOT OF WORK. It will take up so much of your time and there's a gambling/bargaining aspect to it all. I just don’t think anyone tells you how hard and stressful it really is. No one explains the house buying process realistically. At least no one told us. I told my sister once to ask, ask, ask. Ask as many questions as you can think of. Agents, lenders, etc. know what they know, but they don’t know how much you know. So unless they just offer up info (and most don’t), you have to ask all the questions. YOU have to. Otherwise, you’ll get blindsided. Also, no one tells you the toll it takes on you and those around you, especially those directly involved. Corey and I need to mend things with each other. We blame each other right now and that is not good. Something else that runs thin in the heat of all the stress involved: patience. Remember why you’re who and where you are and what’s most important to you.

I have a lot coming up to keep me busy but I’m trying to not think about after the holidays when everything slows down. I will still be doing the same thing I do every year. Don't get me wrong, I like routine. It's just that I thought I'd be in my own home for Christmas this year or at least working towards my own home. It's been such a struggle and I want to get out of this slump. If I didn't have the dogs to care for, I'd probably be a blob right now. I think it will take a few days for me to get back to normal and I will have to let this go. I will have to stop blaming and second guessing. I HAVE TO. And I will. In my own time. I'm actually quite intrigued by how much this meant to me now. I never thought I’d be so obsessed with such a common thing as buying a house or property because I'm not typical. Makes me laugh a little. Still feeling defeated and kicking myself for not moving faster though. Still processing…

Maybe, just maybe, in time I can practice what I preach, but for now, I’m out of the game and on to happier things. While writing this has definitely been therapeutic for me, this was not my original intention and I’m sorry for the somber tone. I learn from experience, and if any of my experiences can help anyone else, that’s my main goal. My other goal now is to focus on my activity level with the dogs and keeping us healthy while trying to get back to all the little things that made me happy, and also trying to amend things with Corey. I also want to spend more time with my dad too. Even though we live close to each other, I don't see him enough.

Like I said, I love October...usually. I have some great things planned for this week, the last week in October, so I’m going to try to make the most of it. One thing I’m looking forward to is the Trunk or Treat event with Freedom Fences on Sunday, October 30^th from 3-5. You can find out more about that on their website (www.freedomfences.org) or their Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/FreedomFences/?fref=ts) if you are in the Pendleton, SC area and would like to attend for a good cause. Spending some time with my mom, aunt, and sister on Saturday too. Should be fun.

Next year October, next year…

As happy as my dogs are...

Last time I mentioned how I would love to be able to work from home in order to spend more time with my aging ladies. I still want that, but I've reflected on my current situation a bit, and I have realized that I really do have a lot to be happy about. While most of my "fortune" is based solely on my decisions to be who I am, some are just the way things happened and I have to be glad some of them did.

I used to work an hour away so my daily commute was a total of 2 hours and that was if traffic was moving smoothly. That's straight to work and straight home. No stopping for groceries or running errands - that had to wait until the weekend. My dogs were home alone, inside and bored for 12 hours a day. When BI-LO "merged" with Winn-Dixie and moved to somewhere in Florida, I wasn't willing to go so I looked for another job. Now I've always loved Clemson...well, Clemson University. I loved going to school there and everyone knows that being a college student is just FUN! So after contemplating moving closer to Greenville because I thought I'd only find a job in Greenville, I lucked up and landed a position at Clemson University, my alma mater. 

This changed everything! I was now making more money, my commute was only 5 miles so I was saving a TON of gas, my dogs were not stuck inside for 12 hours anymore, I could easily go home at lunch and best of all, I was working at Clemson University. Don't get me wrong - I loved my job at BI-LO and I loved the great people I worked with that treated me like family and taught me so much. Love them all! So here I am at Clemson and it was great! At first. That didn't last long. I was miserable for about 3 years. I applied and interviewed but never landed anything else. Good thing I stuck it out though, because now, here I am 4 years in and I have to say, at this moment in time, I'm pretty happy. I have flexibility and that's important with pets.

I've been desperately searching for a house. I've been in my current apartment for 10 years...yes, that's correct. Lillie and Izzie's whole life have been in this apartment. So I want a house, more room, my own yard, etc., etc. It's. Been. A. Nightmare. Maybe I'll find something, maybe I won't. It doesn't matter anymore though because I realized, where I am now, we have lots of trails and the lake and just a bunch of rural-ness that suits us best and the dogs love it! Not sure we can find that in a house - in one we can afford. Plus the ladies love the routine and surroundings they know. My dogs are happy.

I was speaking with a co-worker the other day who lives alone an hour away and has dogs, and I asked how she did it. How does she deal with leaving them? She talked about her Ellie, who has cancer, and said, "I just do what I have to. If I have to leave, I go. If I have to stay home, I do. At some point, I will have to take some time, but we are not there yet." This made me sad. While I may not be at home 24/7, I am never far away and can get home quickly, my vet is close by and I can always do my job from home if I need to. Corey is there for the morning hours so Lillie and Izzie are only there for about 4.5 hours alone Tuesday thru Thursday. I am also very lucky to have someone who loves them as much as I do. 

There’s a lot going on right now on and off campus.

Wednesday two children and a teacher were shot at a nearby Townville Elementary school. I was sad and angry at the same time. Jacob Hall, 6 years old, is now fighting for his life. My stepdad was working when they flew him in. I don't have kids and don't plan to, but I can't even imagine what this family is dealing with. Just can't imagine...definitely puts things in perspective. My thoughts are with this family.

On campus right now, there’s so much conflict and division…but today is Friday and GameDay is here...again! And right now, it's a good distraction. A chance for everyone to come together for something instead of dividing themselves. I work in Tillman Hall, which is behind Bowman Field which is where GameDay is set up. It's really cool to go out the side door and see it all. It's really cool to be a college where GameDay comes more than once to see you. It's just awesome!

So, my dogs are happy, healthy and safe, Corey and I are happy, healthy and safe, and for all that, I am very grateful.

You know how happy your dogs are to see you when you get home? Well, that's how I strive to be - as happy as my dogs are. Because in my opinion, they are the best model for what happiness really is.

Izzie doing Husky!

Izzie

 

I'm not sure if this is the way I should start my blog or if I should start with history and introduce these guys first. My reason for starting here is because of some things that have transpired over the past few days and my thoughts on the life I share with these amazing animals. I feel the need to document in or order to preserve.

Lillie

View more photos from the lake here.

These are just a couple pictures from the lake yesterday. There are many more. I had to capture the moments as best I could. The day before this, I took Izzie (now 9) and Lillie (10) out to the lake to have some free time because we have not been down there in a while due to the heat. Lillie has always been a natural in the water ever since she was a pup. She was always getting wet however she could. Izzie on the other hand, got a later start in life because she wasn't mine until she was 2. Izzie has always liked the water but has always been much more timid...about everything. She more recently really started to swim more and get out into the deeper water. For some reason, on this particular day, she decided to swim a lot, much more than usual. Maybe because we hadn't been down in so long or maybe she just felt really good...who knows. This dog really came into her own true Husky and played like I've never seen her play in the water, chasing rocks as we threw them and swimming like crazy. This went on for hours. We had to make her leave. It was one of the greatest moments of my life seeing Izzie come completely out of her shell and just be a dog! Even Lillie sat around and watched as Izzie played.

So after we finally dragged Izzie away and hiked back home, the dogs were bathed and fed and they both lied down to rest. Later, Izzie could barely get up; I could tell she was in pain. Usually, this is an issue we experience with Lillie, but not Izzie so I was frantic. I gave her a baby aspirin, wrapped her in a blanket and stayed near her for some time while she rested more. She recovered enough for a short walk to go potty and then we rested for the night.

The next day, Monday - when the above pictures were taken, I decided I had to see her in her element again and get some great photos of them. We hiked back down to the lake and I proceeded to get photos. Izzie did less running and more swimming so I thought this type exercise would be much better for her. Took pictures and hiked back home. Again after resting, she experienced the same issues and again, I wrapped her and held her until she felt comfortable enough to get up. This brought heavy tears to my eyes as I realized my dogs were aging and they won't be here forever. This struck me hard and has stuck with me over the past few days, causing me to consider if I'll even be able to handle such a loss.

 

 

It was always Lillie that I worried about because she's almost two years older. I've never thought of Izzie as older but in reality, they are both older girls now. It has just taken so long for Izzie to just be a husky, to just be a dog and enjoy her surroundings. It's like she finally has let go of all the things she was afraid of (more on this later) and she's just happy...it's taken her 9 years to get here. I have experienced so much sadness from this incident because it's setting in that they won't be around forever, which is the only way I want it. I'm obsessed and can't seem to focus on anything else. I now question everything I have done in my life that has shaped the life I now share with my dogs, including life choices. Maybe I should have gotten a different degree so I'd have a good career and could afford to stay with them more or even just work from home. There has to be something I can do from home. Can I make enough money working from home? Or if I had my own business, maybe if I had stuck with photography or building websites. SO many options and I am where I am in a job that I don't care for (more on that later as well). I just want to be a stay-at-home dog mom! Why didn't I choose better? This is what I am struggling with now while still trying to do the day-to-day.

There are many more things that had to happen in order for them to come into my life so I can't wish I'd done everything differently. Their lives could have turned out much worse. I'm glad they are with me. They are not in crates or at a shelter or with someone who abuses them or doesn't have time for them. They are well taken care of, but how do I know if that is enough? Isn't there more I could be doing for them? They are the only children I'll ever have and they have changed my life forever. My goal is to give them the same love and care in return for as long as I can, whatever it takes. I have to.

More to come....thanks for reading!